糖心Vlog视频

Words of Anguish

Unread for almost a half-century, a rediscovered essay collection reveals the despair and anger felt by UT Arlington students four days after John F. Kennedy鈥檚 assassination.

Duane Keilstrup was doing something he hadn鈥檛 done in years鈥攄igging through the mounds of files swallowing up his home office鈥攚hen he found them, peeking from a manila folder, as crisp as the day he put them there nearly 50 years before. Sixty-five essays, single-spaced and double-spaced, most signed, and all handwritten in sprawling cursive by freshmen and sophomores four days after President John F. Kennedy was shot Nov. 22, 1963, in downtown Dallas.

Dr. Keilstrup was 28 and an assistant professor of German at what was then Arlington State College when he suggested that students in his three classes jot down their thoughts about the assassination, partly as a cathartic experience and partly because Keilstrup was curious about what they were thinking.

He promised no grades, no analysis, and no discussion. He didn鈥檛 read the essays until weeks later, scribbling a few notes along some pages. Then he stashed them away, uncovering them last year only because his wife, Glenda, asked him to please do something about the potential fire hazard building in his office.

鈥�Time-wise, for him to have finally cleaned out his files and found the essays right before the 50th anniversary was quite a coincidence,鈥� Glenda says of her husband, who retired from UT Arlington in 1992. 鈥淓verything just started happening after听that.鈥�

RAW EMOTIONS

After an article appeared in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, representatives of The Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza in Dallas contacted Keilstrup. Home to more than 40,000 artifacts surrounding the assassination, the museum commands the top two floors of the former 糖心Vlog视频 School Book Depository, where Lee Harvey Oswald is believed to have fired the fatal听shots.

The officials were eager to view the writings. When Keilstrup brought them over, associate curator Stephen Fagin slipped on a pair of snow-white gloves and methodically flipped the pages. He read submission after submission until he finally stood up and declared that he couldn鈥檛 believe what he was seeing.

鈥�The first thing I thought was, 鈥榃ow, what a benefit it would be to have something like this at the museum that provides firsthand perspectives of how young people responded to the assassination.鈥� This is the first donation from a classroom environment where students as part of a paper were asked to respond with their thoughts and feelings in the immediate aftermath of the assassination. It鈥檚 fascinating.鈥�

The essays present a cavalcade of raw emotions molded by shock, sadness, and disbelief. Nuances could be lifted straight from today鈥檚 blogosphere: the easy availability of firearms, a societal condoning of violence, how feuding Democrats and Republicans created an atmosphere of hateful discourse.

鈥淓fforts must be renewed to keep weapons of any kind from those who would use them wrongly,鈥� student Paul Pryor wrote. 鈥淲e must do this without endangering the right of the responsible citizens.鈥�

The essays cited irrational forces and influences prevalent at the time, God鈥檚 will to bring the nation closer to Him, and hate in the Dallas media, which several students surmised was what led Oswald to believe he would be听safe.

鈥淲hat is this new America that suddenly has no respect for the dignity and office of the chief executive?鈥� one student penned.

鈥淲hat causes a person to take another鈥檚 life no matter how despicable his crime in a country where our liberty and justice are our mainstays of the past and our basis for the future?鈥� wrote another.

And this: 鈥淭he nation is profoundly shocked by perhaps the most evil crime in American history. As a citizen of Dallas, I feel utter shame, sadness, and disbelief that such a tragedy could take place in my city. As long as I live, I shall never forget that terrible day.鈥�

LIKE TURTLES IN SHELLS

In 1963 Arlington State College was a rapidly growing institution with 10,000 students and recently achieved four-year status. The students鈥� politics paralleled the sentiment of many Texans who respected the presidency but disliked Kennedy despite his choice of Lyndon B. Johnson as a running mate.

Keilstrup likened student reaction after the assassination to turtles escaping into their shells for safety, waiting for trouble to dissipate. He recalls walking the campus and seeing clumps of students, all with frightened or perplexed looks, huddled in hot discussion.

No student refused the optional assignment, Keilstrup remembers, and the mood in all three classes was solemn, with few talking above a whisper.

鈥�It was a terrible time,鈥� says David Rowntree, who was 19 when Kennedy was shot. He can鈥檛 recall what he wrote in his own essay in Keilstrup鈥檚 class. Among those who signed his paper, Rowntree began most of his paragraphs with 鈥淲hy.鈥� He shared the sentiment of many of his classmates, that the 鈥渞eal鈥� killer would never be found and their lives would never be the听same.

鈥淎s long as the collective conscious of mankind condones violence for any reason, we will have to suffer its consequences in every phase of human life,鈥� he听wrote.

鈥�A lot of people on campus hated the Kennedys,鈥� says Rowntree, now 69 and living in Concord, Calif. 鈥淭hey didn鈥檛 like JFK or his brother and felt the family were political opportunists. I remember being in another class when someone walked in to say that Kennedy had been shot. Everyone started talking at once, but one guy stood up and said, 鈥楪ood, we should have impeached him anyway.鈥� I wanted to run up and grab him by the throat and shake听him.鈥�

A NEW AMERICA?

Fagin and his colleagues in The Sixth Floor Museum鈥檚 collections department are scanning, digitizing, and categorizing the essays, which will join videos, photos, and oral histories in the museum鈥檚 archives.

He says many who lived through the period believe the assassination was a watershed moment that ushered in the violence, skepticism, and loss of innocence of the 1960s. He sees the essays as representing 鈥渉istory in the making鈥� and shining an intimate light on students trying to make sense of a tragedy in their own backyard.

鈥�They鈥檙e trying to justify it, trying to defend or theorize what we can do to change the country. Then there were the ones who asked about this new America that was emerging. That was a very telling point because there is this recognition that things are changing and will continue to change. There are the deaths of Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. There鈥檚 Vietnam.鈥�

As one student wrote, 鈥淭he only thing that has come into focus from the past few days is the American people as a body realize how much our president and government mean to them. I do not think it鈥檚 known why the assassination came, and I do not think it will be known. We do know that hatred causes ugly听deeds.鈥�

Keilstrup, now 78, was named a professor emeritus in 1992 after 37 years on the UT Arlington faculty. He stays busy producing golden age radio shows and is the author of The Christian Professor in the Secular University: Singing & Soaring on Paths of Joy.

鈥�To have the essays in the museum is very humbling,鈥� he says. 鈥淚鈥檓 just very, very grateful that they were able to preserve the thoughts of my students.鈥�

Yet those thoughts almost remained hidden in that manila folder.

鈥�I knew I had them somewhere. As soon as I saw them, I knew it was time to tell someone. It would be incredibly selfish for me to keep them for myself and not let others experience them.鈥�

Go to to view images from a UT Arlington Library photo exhibit of President Kennedy鈥檚 visit to Fort听Worth.

Also in this issue: , a story about the JFK Tribute in downtown Fort Worth.

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